This is a story that made me laugh and made me cry.
A little church in Italy decided to restore a five hundred something year old fresco.
The fresco depicted the tree of life.
It was a tree where the fruit were penises and the fresco showed a collection of women trying to pick the fruits.
The restoration had lasted about a year when some experts raised the alarm.
All the penises had disappeared.
Oops, said the restorers, who conveniently had not noticed it before, maybe the harsh chemicals made the penises go away. Not the tree, not the collection of women, just the penises.
Some really harsh conservative Republican chemicals.
So let this be lesson to all. Never expose your penis to harsh conservative republican chemicals. That will make it go away.
Penis envy.