Ans so I cried. I did not know what else to do. It was (is) my birthday. I am as of today, 68 years old.
I am a 68 years old curmudgeon, a thing most sane people will avoid. A person that should be held up as an example of what not to be. A person like me.
And yet.
Am I so bad compared to so many others ?
I think not.
I might be a smidgen more honest but so what ?
Honesty did not make many friends and therefore I have very few friends
but I am here
and I still write my blog
That's worth something, aint it ?

Rodents!
At this point I am willing to blame them for just about anything from excessive gas expulsion to halitosis.
Truth ?
They bother me. They bother me because when at times I open the doors to the cabinet where I hear them making noises, I am at times confronted with a Disneyesque looking little creature that as often as not will just sit still and look at me. Big scary me. And then slowly go back to whatever rodents do when not pestered by things like me. Big scary me. And I despair.
What does one do to make these rodents go away ?
One hires a cat.
One hires an old, ugly, belligerent cat. A cat that takes pride in its job, to eliminate rodents. Such a cat has to deal with the Unloved Ones ( my mutts ) and, uno contra quatro, one against four are just bad odds.
But any pussy worth its salt ? will not only put up with, it will negate the powers of the Worthless Ones . It will show the world that righteous pussies will prevail over worthless ones any old day.
Poor old mutts.

PSSTTTT YA wanna know a secret ?
Here is one.
Whenever I have a bit too much to drink, my vocabulary expands to multi-syllable words. And lots of them. So when you read a post of mine and I am using all kinds of big words, be advised. I have most probably imbibed, and liberally.
Sad, it is not, that that is what it takes, a thing that should be perfectly natural.
We have such a vibrant and beautiful language and yet
when you listen to rap artists, they might as well be speaking a foreign tongue.
And as you might have guessed, I have been imbibing.
Cheers.

And in my dream I was starting University..I know, I know..it is a dream , all right ? but this is where it took a Kafkaesque turn with endless and look-alike corridors with people busy going back and forth. And I was lost till I found a person who seemed to be some kind of guide. He asked what I was looking for and I blurted out : " psych 1 "....Ah, he said, you are all right then. They are still taking inscriptions. It will cost you 400 dollars. Anything else I can help you with ?
Yes...I said.
I could use a guide dog.
And then I woke up.

This is a joke that was mailed to me :
Two dogs are sitting talking.
In the hazy background one can see a human walking his canine on a lead.
Says #1 dog to #2 dog
What kind of best friend
would cut off your testicals..

Say wha ???
Now I am as prone as the next person, maybe even more, to misspellings
But testicals.
And this "joke" was received by dozens if not hundreds of people, hopefully all of them struck, as was I, by the glaring mistake and yet.....I wonder.
So as not to make too big a fool of myself, I did check the dictionary; there is no word listed as testical(s).
And then I think, was it a subtle double joke that I missed entirely, like the dogs talking being sort of hillbilly kinda dogs not knowing how to spell testicle.?
NAhhh..

Last night was the night of the no-see-ums. They were out in force and they kept me from sleeping well. My regular mosquitoes I can hear and in most cases ward off with a mighty swipe of my hands but these critters sneak up on you, no warning, and then they bite. And I think they operate in swarms, but that is totally my idea. I really don't like them, in fact I like them so little that I went to the store and bought a bunch of nasty smelling ,insect repelling, slow burning spirals. It is about the only thing that can keep the buggers in check. I'll admit that if I were a no-see-um, I would go away too. Those spirals are lethal.
And at the store I got some more cheap wine too. Spirals for the outside, cheap wine for the inside.
Tonight I shall tumble in to the arms of Morpheus
I hope.

So when do your clever and funny emails turn into something unwanted and unread ?
I don't know.
I do know that some people who I have regaled with my 'witty' and 'erudite' mails stopped responding..
Nothing.
and I so wonder if maybe I passed over this threshold and became a nuisance rather than a delightful break in an otherwise so-so day.
One thing is for sure. I have too much time to worry about these things.
But am I a nuisance or a welcome break in a bleak day ?