Theory of relativity

I am not totally sure what the theory of relativity is all about, well no, to tell the truth, I have not the foggiest notion.
But in my world, in this little enclave of lush greenery compleat with an astounding array of creepy crawlies and mentally challenged canines, the relativity is this:
relative to the amount of bad news on the computer and amount of barking and screaming by the resident canines, is the amount of cheap wine to be consumed.
Add to the equation the number of non-functioning electronics, starting with but not exclusive to, the TV, and you have another part of the problem.
So the more bad news, more screaming mutts and more dead electronics, the more the imbibing of cheap wine.
I am no Einstein but I'll say this is pretty cool. Even if it is written after a certain amount of cheap wine.
It wouldn't have been any better had the wine been expensive.