Josefina and the Puertoriceno

I heard voices from the house down the road, talking voices, so I Figured that Josefina had company and good, I thought, for the old bag and thought no more about it. That is till later at night when the mutts were barking at something in the street and I went to check, and there was Josefina saying
pssstt Senor
reminding me of the old times in Tijuana when shady characters would sidle up to you in the street saying
pssstt senor, you wanna buy feelthy pictures ?
I am hiding, Josefina said, from Yimmili. He wants to go to the pueblo for dinner, and I don't.
I am decent woman, she said, pounding her full but saggy bosom, I cannot go out with a single man except for maybe my husband, my brother, my son, my uncle, my nephew....but not with Yimmili because he is, and she paused dramatically
He is Puertoriceno
Besides, she said, look at me. I am not dressed to go out, and pulled at her t-shirt and shorts.
Now, I have only ever seen her dressed this way so I don't know if she even owns anything else.
I told her to come into the house and wait and then we would go, together, to confront Yimmili.
But first, to soothe her nerves, I poured her a small glass of rum.
No, she said, I cannot drink anything, I am too upset, and it is too much.....what is it? rum ? well, maybe for the nerves.
And with that she swallowed the drink. One gulp.
Now, I said, now we go and talk to Yimmi, and grabbed her arm and we started walking down the hill towards her house.
Halfway there we saw Yimmi by the house and Josefina wailed that she could not face him, that she was scared and that I would have to go and talk to him, which I did.
Jimmy, it turned out, needed 200 pesos to go to the pueblo ( turned out that it was Puerto Vallarta, not Mismaloya) to meet a new friend and he did not have the money but he would pay Josefina back as soon as , well.... soon, and he was drunk and besides he acted like a terrier who had discovered the scent of a rat, in and out of the house, yelling for Fina, climbing the walls.
There was no arguing with him, just as one can't argue with a terrier on a trail, so I went back to fetch Josefina who in the meantime was trying to hide by lying on the side of the street, but really looking more like a stranded mini whale in shorts and t-shirt. I almost broke my back getting her upright, and then we proceeded towards her house when Yimmi came out of nowhere and Josefina made a sprint for the safety of her gate, making it a stand off between her on on side and Yimmili on the other and this old fool, swearing that this was the last time he would get involved with the neigbors, heading back to the relative tranquility of the home, where suddenly five barking dogs seemed easy to cope with.
So that's the story of Josefina and the Puertoriceno.